So I've been gathering a bunch of really cool materials (not much new there) and looking around for various ideas in preparation to begin a crazy ass whoa of productivity, art wise at least. The thing is it's one thing to say it... And I become unmotivated almost as easily as I become motivated, the unfortunate thing being the motivation always comes at 1 in the morning when I should be sleeping and the lack of always happens from like... lets call it 6 - 11 aka, any time when I really should do something.

And the problem with looking at references and gathering ideas becomes I do still want to be original, how can I do that when I draw so much from what I've seen before? And let's face it, wandering the popular section of dev is one of the best ways to figure out there are sickening amounts of talent out there... and it's not exactly here. But like Paul said the one time I made the mistake of saying I was jealous... that's my problem. Most the people who are that good are that good because they spend butt tons of time and pour uber-tons of effort into what they do. I like to see an end product too much, so I rush, so it looks shitty, so then I don't feel like doing anything because it just doesn't seem to measure up. *sigh* The vicious cycle of life. Actually I'm becoming convinced that it's just a vicious circle of vicious circles.

But anyhow. So on my to do list of projects for this summer (we'll stick with artsy/crafty only and exclude the ponies for the sake of berevity (and hey, it's not an official journal until I add a list, I should see if that's a career option, listmaker)).

1. finish Dad's painting from last year (it's the guy with the falcon floating around somewhere in my gallery, right now I love the falcon's tail and the rest can take a flying leap, it's too dark and I can't get my feather textures without butchering my feather colors, oh joy)

2. actually start the lighthouse painting for the bathroom (hey, I least I gesso'd my board!!)

3. duct tape wallets for the con (still think it's probably not gonna go as good as I'd like)

4. SLUGS!!!! yeah, in my attempt to think of something worth making for the con I decided to try something simple I could crank out fairly fast, originally it was gonna be clay anime hair (haha, yeah no idea what I was thinking on that) but it kind of turned into the claymation slugs from Flushed Away. I know it's not anime but I think they're cute so thpbbbbbbbbbbbbbb! (not to mention crazy easy which in my laziness fits just fine)

5. altered book - The Dark Tower (trying to figure out how to burn a small hole in a page without sending the entire thing up in flames (and that was in the house by the way, just 'cause I'm smart like that)) currently just singing page edges, oh and stumbled onto covering a page in wax and then scraping it all off (it lets you see through to the next page) Hoping to maybe do some sketches that wander their way in.

6. father's day/birthday present for Dad - it's a poem he kind of inspired that I was gonna lithograph and surround with a bunch of fishing type stuff then put into a shadow box, still waiting for him to show me how to tie flies for that one

7. another altered book - this one not really mattering on the book's story, maybe something with all the crap I do with Sue and Kate, they tend to inspire a lot of random crap that I'm ok with (my blurry pics and my random works on paper from watercolor class) been looking at a lot of David Mack collagey type stuff for that one

8. take pics of older stuff and post some of it (ok, so maybe that doesn't count quite like the other stuff but it's still art related damn it!)

9. paint Midnight - I'm pretty sure there's quick sketches of him in my scraps or somewhere, but anywho I've decided it would look fun enough that I want to go through the suicidal attempt to paint that crazy hair of his, who know's maybe it won't be that bad. heh heh, yeah right. It's gonna go on one of the circular saw blades I have sitting around (in addition to gathering stuff I've also been gathering "canvases" that's a bunch of saw blades, 4 windows, two shutters, and two windowy things complete with screens, and my parentals will just have a tizzy if I've aquired all this stuff just to let it sit)

10. one of these days finish Uncle Gene's painting like I told dad I would - I just worry about messing it up, it's not mine and I don't want to take away from what Uncle Gene did

11. paint a barn scene or woods scene type thing for Mom (aka, what happens when you forget about mother's day until 1 am that day)

12. take a bunch of close ups of the farm (Uncle Paul's) they'll probably end up as pictures on the windows

13. take pictures of all the farms I drive past before they rip any others down (took down the one at the end of our road and now I hardly recognize the place), I want to connect them all on a map then somehow or other

Wow. I think I should call that good. Now if only I'd actually settle in and accomplish some of this. Cross your fingers and wish me luck kids! I'm gonna need it. No actually screw that, don't wish me luck, wish me the motivation to start. I roll along significantly better once I start.

I think that's a good enough replacement journal don't y'all?